we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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