I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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