I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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