You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
