i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize