dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
