We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
