That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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