I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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