Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
it's like iHOP with fire
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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