My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
