dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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