you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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