she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
