i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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