Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
