If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
