Dual....:-)
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
