so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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