Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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