ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
