i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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