it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
