1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
