Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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