What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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