There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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