i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize