It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
