I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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