Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My vagina just clenched in fear
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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