girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
