I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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