nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
