If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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