it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
