I must be too annoying 4 u.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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