Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
