I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize