It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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