Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
