Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i think i have two assholes
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
