He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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