But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
