I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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