I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
