Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
