i wish there were pregnant emoticons
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
