I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
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