I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
