I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
