All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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