I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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