Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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