Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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