He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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