New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
