I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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