weddingsv make me drug and hornr
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
