; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
