I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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