We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
The ass gains better be worth it
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