Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize
