you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize