At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
