the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
